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Passion of the Pau

Pau Gasol is in agony

ICYMI, Grantland just ran their own NBA Video Music Awards, and Pau’s rendition of "How to Save a Life" completely dominated the competition by taking home the big one:

The Icon Award for Best Performance / Best Timing / Best “Wave ’Em Off” Game / Best Emotional Eyebrows / Best Reminder of Why I Love the Internet / Best Use of Shuttin’ Eyes / Best Performance by a Player Who Gives Very Few Shits About What Any of us Think: Pau Gasol — “How to Save a Life”

As many popular artists can tell you, there’s more to a performance than just a voice. To be considered a true entertainer, you must maintain an aura and a swagger onstage that cannot be taught. It’s just something you’re born with.

It’s just something Pau Gasol is born with. A quick rundown:

0:01 Passionately shuts eyes.

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0:06 Pau waves off “the things you told him all along.”

0:09 We explore the depths of Pau’s spirituality as he whips his head back during “Pray to god he hears you.”

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0:16 Perfectly air-punches the moment the chorus comes in.

0:18 A question is asked. “Where did I go wrong?” Pau puts his hand out as if to say, “Let me tell you.” Then he sets his eyebrows to EMOTIONAL STATUS, shuts his eyes, and sings, “I lost a friend.”

0:26 EYEBROWS.

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0:25 Well-timed head nod.

0:34 Raises eyebrows like, “You asked for the best.”

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EXCLUSIVE: Sesame Street aims to sign Pau Gasol this summer, forming a Gasol-Big Bird front court.

Sources say Sesame Street is currently the favorite to sign former Lakers free agent Pau Gasol. Sesame Street is looking to pair the four-time All Star with Big Bird and Aloysius Snuffleupagus to form an imposing front court. The 33 year-old Gasol averaged 17.4 points, 9.7 rebounds, and 1.5 blocks per game with last season, part of a rocky Lakers campaign riddled with injuries to All-Stars Kobe Bryant and Steve Nash. The Lakers ultimately finished 27-55, their worst record in franchise history. Gasol also had numerous philosophical disagreements with recently-fired Lakers coach Mike D’Antoni. 

Gasol has said he would prefer to sign with a championship contender, with the Chicago Bulls and Memphis Grizzlies high on his list. But the opportunity to play alongside Big Bird and Snuffleupagus, as well as the NBA 2013-2014 Most Improved Player Cookie Monster, may prove to be the most attractive. 

NBA salary cap expert Larry Coon believes Sesame Street could offer Gasol a max deal if it renounces the rights to Oscar the Grouch. Sesame Street General Manager Count von Count, whose financial wizardry is renowned, could even find the cap space to sign MVPuppet Lebron James if Sesame Street exercises their one-time amnesty provision on the under-performing Grover, whose contract has 2 years remaining.

Over the past two years, Sesame Street has quickly become the most entertaining team in basketball, thanks to its free-flowing “Street Ball” style of play. It has also become an attractive free agent destination because of year-round “Sunny Day” weather, its tax-free status, national television deal with PBS, and steady income from viewers like you.

Q: Pierre the Pelican scares children, but what scares Pierre ?
A: Gasol the Pau-lican.
Happy Halloween!

Q: Pierre the Pelican scares children, but what scares Pierre ?

A: Gasol the Pau-lican.

Happy Halloween!

Pau finally shaves

After 9 years, Pau finally shaves after losing a bet with Marc Gasol (on behalf of the Gasol Foundation).

Lesson of the Day? NEVER bet against Marc Gasol.

HOLY CRAP, I got a Twitter reply from Pau. Wow. Time to shut it down, my life is complete. 

https://twitter.com/PassionOfThePau/status/362481031170887680

Happy 33rd Birthday, Pau! 

Thanks for all you’ve done, for being a true Laker with a heart of Purple and Gold. Here’s to many more years, many more trophies, and many more Figueroa Ave parades!

Happy 33rd Birthday, Pau!

Thanks for all you’ve done, for being a true Laker with a heart of Purple and Gold. Here’s to many more years, many more trophies, and many more Figueroa Ave parades!

Loose Balls? Pau WILL GRAB ‘EM!

Loose Balls? Pau WILL GRAB ‘EM!

Pau was whistled for a loose ball foul. 

Pau was whistled for a loose ball foul. 

Anonymous said: Are you out of business? What's happened to you? So much Pau drama, so little time, eh?

Tooooo much Pau drama this year. I hope his season picks up soon! D’Antoni is crazy playing him off the bench!

Anonymous said: Where u been?

Been busy! But I hope I’m back now!

CAN’T WIN IN ORLANDO?NO WORRIES, PAU WILL CARRY YOU TO A RING

CAN’T WIN IN ORLANDO?

NO WORRIES, PAU WILL CARRY YOU TO A RING

Happy 32nd Birthday, Pau! Here’s to many more years and many more rings with the Purple and Gold!

Happy 32nd Birthday, Pau! Here’s to many more years and many more rings with the Purple and Gold!

On Thursday night, Pau sang The Fray’s “How to Save a Life” for UNICEF’s Playlist with the A-List event. But maybe he was also singing for Derek Fisher and Luke Walton? Chorus:

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life

Hat-tip: LA Times

Passion of the Pau: Submission of the Week - "Animal Kingdom"

Passion of the Pau: Submission of the Week - “Animal Kingdom”

Special thanks to NBADoppelgangers

2 for #2.

Pau’s glad he’s staying in LA, but it ain’t gonna be the same without D-Fish. Thanks for everything, “Mr. 0.4”.