The Icon Award for Best Performance / Best Timing / Best “Wave ’Em Off” Game / Best Emotional Eyebrows / Best Reminder of Why I Love the Internet / Best Use of Shuttin’ Eyes / Best Performance by a Player Who Gives Very Few Shits About What Any of us Think: Pau Gasol — “How to Save a Life”
As many popular artists can tell you, there’s more to a performance than just a voice. To be considered a true entertainer, you must maintain an aura and a swagger onstage that cannot be taught. It’s just something you’re born with.
It’s just something Pau Gasol is born with. A quick rundown:
0:01 Passionately shuts eyes.
0:06 Pau waves off “the things you told him all along.”
0:09 We explore the depths of Pau’s spirituality as he whips his head back during “Pray to god he hears you.”
0:16 Perfectly air-punches the moment the chorus comes in.
0:18 A question is asked. “Where did I go wrong?” Pau puts his hand out as if to say, “Let me tell you.” Then he sets his eyebrows to EMOTIONAL STATUS, shuts his eyes, and sings, “I lost a friend.”
0:25 Well-timed head nod.
0:34 Raises eyebrows like, “You asked for the best.”
EXCLUSIVE: Sesame Street aims to sign Pau Gasol this summer, forming a Gasol-Big Bird front court.
Sources say Sesame Street is currently the favorite to sign former Lakers free agent Pau Gasol. Sesame Street is looking to pair the four-time All Star with Big Bird and Aloysius Snuffleupagus to form an imposing front court. The 33 year-old Gasol averaged 17.4 points, 9.7 rebounds, and 1.5 blocks per game with last season, part of a rocky Lakers campaign riddled with injuries to All-Stars Kobe Bryant and Steve Nash. The Lakers ultimately finished 27-55, their worst record in franchise history. Gasol also had numerous philosophical disagreements with recently-fired Lakers coach Mike D’Antoni.
Gasol has said he would prefer to sign with a championship contender, with the Chicago Bulls and Memphis Grizzlies high on his list. But the opportunity to play alongside Big Bird and Snuffleupagus, as well as the NBA 2013-2014 Most Improved Player Cookie Monster, may prove to be the most attractive.
NBA salary cap expert Larry Coon believes Sesame Street could offer Gasol a max deal if it renounces the rights to Oscar the Grouch. Sesame Street General Manager Count von Count, whose financial wizardry is renowned, could even find the cap space to sign MVPuppet Lebron James if Sesame Street exercises their one-time amnesty provision on the under-performing Grover, whose contract has 2 years remaining.
Over the past two years, Sesame Street has quickly become the most entertaining team in basketball, thanks to its free-flowing “Street Ball” style of play. It has also become an attractive free agent destination because of year-round “Sunny Day” weather, its tax-free status, national television deal with PBS, and steady income from viewers like you.